always.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Me & Me again

I have always beeen strong..

No matter what happened, I've always tried to put on a straight face as if

nothing much happened...

I've always tried..

No matter what..

But now...

Things have changed..

I am no longer who I used to be..

I am definitely tired..

Tired of giving in, Tired of being the weaker one..

The feeling I cant explain..

What should I do?

I still have hope, I dont wanna give it up just yet..

But how do I make it work?

It cant be Me & Me all the time..

Why cant it be you?

For once?

Too much to ask for?

Too bad..

I cant hold on to it anymore..

I really cant..

Do I have a choice?

I always have a choice..

& its up to me..

But I chose to be in it & stay..

What do you reckon?

Walking away is not a simple thing to do..

I cant bring myself to do it..

Its hard..

Do I need help?

No, I dont think so..

I can handle this on my own..

Like how I've always managed all this while..

But, am I forcing myself now?

Yes?

No?

I dont know..

I really dont..

Comtemplate & contemplate..

Its never gonna end..

I'm going berserk..

Soon...

Very soon......

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Things in My Mind...

A relationship has its ups & downs...

So has friendship..

I've found a new friend, and I realised that she is a friend indeed when I'm in need...

You know who you are...

I know you READ my blog...

Although we've just "met", you've been with me tru ups & downs...

Gave me a shoulder to cry on...

Thank you for being a friend...

I feel tired, sick & lethargic...

I dunno why, but I'm emotionally drained..

I dunno how to react anymore..

Why am I treated this way? Why am I still being so patient?

Cos I believe that things will change, one day...

One fine day...

Will dat day ever arrive?

As much as I am still trying to hold on, its slipping me...

I cant hold on much longer..

I wish I could, I am trying as had, but I am really losing my way...

Is that too much to ask for? Am I being selfish?

Why are you so difficult to talk to? I dont need you to listen to me all the time, to be a romantic, or even pretend to be Nice....

But all I ask for is for you to accept me the way I am, and understand me for ME...

Not for someone else you want me to be.

I AM loud, crazy, a bitch, a farker, an idiot, at least I DONT pretend to be nice in front of others, especially friends and family...

I am NOT a pretender!!

I DONT pretend to be quiet and harmless when I actually BITE!!

That's so NOT ME!!

Why?

Why are you doing this?

What do you gain?

If you've been hurt before, its not fair for you to hurt me now..

What's over, IS over and we should start anew..

You & Me...

Brand new start...

Shall We?

You always say I always ask too much questions...

Wanna know why?

I'm curious...

Cos I dont want things like this to happen...

Now you know...

I wont beg, not anymore...

If its meant to be, its meant to be...

I am so dead!!

I'm hurt, do you even know?

I'm sad, disappointed, upset all-in-one..

Why am I always hurt?

Am I so gullible?

Am I so naive?

Am I?

Why dont we learn to talk things out?

Why dont we learn to control our temper?

Why do we have to go tru this?

Why does it hurt so bad?

Why do I feel so sad?

Why dont we learn to ask, "How's your day?"

Why dont we learn to ask, "How are you?"

Why?

Are we shy?

Not used to it?

Practice makes perfect.

How long more do I have to bear the pain?

How long more do I have to go tru this?

How long more do I have to endure?

How am I going tru this on my own?

How come you dont ask these questions?

What have I done to hurt you?

What did I do to deserve this?

What am I to you?

When is this gonna end?

When are you gonna think about it?

When are we gonna be strong again?

When is my pain ending?

Where have all the sacrifices gone?

Where do we go from here?

Where do we start?

Where to we end?

I dunno the answers myself...

Only you can help...

You know who you are...

I need you to know yourself...

Then, Now & Future...

Once & for all...

Forever...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The Finale... We met the stars!!! As usual, Irfan is scared!!

& again... But too bad Irfan scared of them...

& again...

& Again..

The Fireworks..

Irfan lurves this...

Nice...

Is & Irfan...

Cool...

The Fly-Pass

At Marina NDP Celebrations...

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Me & Is...

Boo & Shikin...

Enal & Wani...

Boy & Syura..

Bobo, Shikin, Mas & Naz...

Ibu & Ayah joined us for dinner at Simpang Bedok after that...

With the Wonkers Guys...

Me & Wani posing with the Wonkers Ladies...

The 10 Dewis who got into the Finals... =)

Wani... 7th name to be called up for the Finals too!! Yahoo!!

Third name to be called up to get into the finals!!! So hepi but muka maintain....

Me in Blue & my monkey face!! Heh..

Waiting for our names to be called up for the Finals...

Me ( No.6 ) & Wani ( on my left )..